i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize