I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize