Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
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At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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