When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize