It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
