what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
