He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
