Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You're breaking my sexual little heart
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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