Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
