Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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