I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
