So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
