I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
