I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Come see our sink grown plant.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
