My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
