Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
