Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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