I am puke
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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