i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
