ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
