I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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