The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
