Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
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I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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