dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
