I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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