He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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