If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
