so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
