I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
