goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.