I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
