his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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