i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
