i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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