I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Mom said you looked used
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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