I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
