bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
