O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
