she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
