Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
