Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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