if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize