Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
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Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
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SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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