i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
