Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
