I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
