I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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