ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize