If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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