My room smells like vodka and shame
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
