A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
