i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
smell my finger.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
