Sry I called you an 8
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize