i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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