he shaved USA in his pubs
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
