Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize