I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You took a bar mat shot.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
