im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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