i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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