dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just pynch a tree in the face
My hand turned me down
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
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We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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