okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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