Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize